The Girl in the Back

I was never much of a talker. Always an observer. I would watch people at group functions, stealthily blending in to the background so I could avoid interaction. Sure, I could be the life of the party, but that rarely happened. Just thinking about it tires me out. But I didn’t hate people. In fact, I wanted to socialize, and be “out there.” So what was wrong with me?

The answer: nothing. I just didn’t know that I was an introvert.

My Inner Innie

Stating that I am an introvert is not a big deal. It was blatantly obvious to my closest friends that I was one. But this realization has been a revelation to me. I now know that I can’t make myself be extroverted, but I can learn to deal with, and accept, what it means to be introverted.

So, what does it mean to be introverted? It just means that my Innie needs some alone time. There’s a lot that goes on in this world, and my brain just can’t keep up. I find that I’m easily overwhelmed, or overstimulated, by external situations. Even seemingly nonchalant ones. When I find myself in these predicaments, I tend to clam up, stay to myself, and grumble at anyone who tries to interact with me. Don’t mistake this as me being a grumpy person, or me hating people. I’m just depleted of energy.

The Struggle

I’m learning how to manage my time; balancing my alone time with social time. It hasn’t at all been easy. The problem: I don’t like being alone. As you can imagine, this creates quite a struggle for my Innie. I’m never able to fully recharge my battery.

A quote comes to mind: “I don’t want to be alone. I want to be left alone.”

However, I have realized that my Innie needs alone time if I want to stay a happy person. I just have to learn to adjust to this new feeling. I have to learn to entertain myself, motivate myself, and keep myself preoccupied so I don’t let external distractions over take my Innie.